Another year has passed – part II

Looking at the feed backs from Facebook it sounds  … like I’m complaining, shedding tears on my own shoulder for myself.

I probably did just that and … it’s not true my 2014 didn’t mean only worries and stress. As a friend pointed out I missed the fun part, the beautiful part …

So, on the upside, I’ve had the best holiday ever during 2014. One month holiday it was a dream coming true. In addition to that I feel really blessed when I think I spent the one month holiday with the people who matter most in my life, my husband of 20 years and my 3 children. And i have to admit that every time I feel down I go back to my memories of sunny days, full of laugh and joy from the holiday.

Apart from this experience I feel truly blessed thinking about all the kindness I’ve met this year. Family, friends, acquaintances and even strangers have been kind and added quality to my life all the way through the year.

It was in actual fact a hard but good year as I cannot imagine how I could go through the day sometimes without the support of others.

As a last note … I do feel blessed because it was possible to stay at home and watch kids grow. There are so many great memories of family togetherness and so many extraordinary moments I spent with my children that … I can say it was really an extraordinary year of my life, different than others …


Another years has passed


So, the year is almost gone and it’s time to count the ups and downs of it.

Another year has passed, what can I say about it? Overall it was a difficult year, it started with 4 major episodes of severe asthma in my younger son, continued with my depression, anxiety and panic attacks, was spiced up by our continuous lack of enough money and topped up by my older son chronic ulcerative colitis.

Now, I’m almost at the end of the year and I’m counting my blessings:

– no asthma attack since April.

-I have mostly good days with only rare moments of panic … and that’s achieved with no meds. I’m happy with the result.

-Ulcerative Colitis while not in remission is definitely mid … so the end of the year sees my looking for natural treatments to put mild UC in remission.

What do I hope for next year? My biggest hope is I can stay strong and sail through whatever life throws at me. I do hope I stay healthy and I can manage to hep my family stay healthy as well.

My biggest concern remains my IBD son with his health and the lifelong fight for it. For now, I’m looking once again at what is out there to control inflammation in UC. We have switched to a 90% GAPS/SCD lifestyle and pray for the best.

Living within multiple chaotic nodes


After I’ve seen the October 2014 Hathors’ communication I have realized we are in the middle of a vortex of chaotic nodes.

There is this acute interpersonal dynamite which I find it difficult to bear. I can detach from other issues but the interpersonal communication gets bruised every single day for me.

Exactly as the message said I feel sometimes content and in tune with my life and the next moment I feel deep desperation and have the feeling that no matter what you do you cannot win.

The temptation to do something self destructive is present each and every day. And sometimes I give in and I eat something not so healthy, drink one more coffee or have a wine.

If you feel the same you are not alone. Hang in there! This too shall pass!


Love and Blessings